Predictable stories

Story 1:

You and your partner both work, but you end up doing more housework than he does. In fact, he might do a few tasks here and there as a favor when he feels generous. He might also believe that you need to contribute more financially for some reason, which essentially means that he wants to spend more of his money (or yours) on non-household expenses, or yours on very household-specific things. You spend on the home, he spends on himself!

Story 2:

Your partner is the 'breadwinner,' and you are the stay-at-home spouse/partner. He complains here and there that your work is not up to par with his newfound 5 star Hotel level standards. He even thinks that you do nothing all day and are riding the easy life on his tired, tired back and sweet, sweet money.

Story 3:

You've recently become pregnant or given birth, and things are changing rapidly around you. Your partner is often absent, either working or seeking solace in activities like going to the gym, being on his phone, or going on fishing trips, anything to stay out of the house. When he is around, it's typically because you “made him”, and even then, he might argue that he deserves some 'downtime'. Meanwhile, you find yourself struggling, exhausted and sleep-deprived, unable to even take a proper shower or catch a break, let alone have some 'downtime'.

Story 4:

You are scared of ending up in one of the above situations in your own relationship, whether you are afraid of the partner you will choose or the one you already have to turn into what you see and hear around you.

Some people may find that the information and perspectives here can evoke feelings and realizations that are overwhelming, painful, and enraging. If this is a primary concern for you, I recommend reading it or discussing it with a friend.

Another possible reaction could be getting offended on behalf of your partner. Proceed only if you are ready to CENTER YOUR NEEDS for just a few pages.